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I think I might have finally turned the corner. By which I mean, of… - Im in ur noun, verbing ur related noun.
groovebot
groovebot
I think I might have finally turned the corner. By which I mean, of course, that I'm okay with listening to Nevermind all the way through. See, the only Nirvana album I've listened to for the past 10 years or so is In Utero. Sometime in the beginning of college, I just stopped and I couldn't ever start again. My CD collection was expanding with new and exciting items and Nevermind just made me sad in a way that I didn't mind not feeling. It wasn't a conscious decision so much as a war of addition.

Well, my tastes for the past few months have been regressing rapidly. It turns out that almost everything that I've been introduced to in the past year makes me sad in the way that Nevermind used to. One year turned to two and soon everything I have that I didn't introduce myself to was out of rotation. So today I figured I'd go all the way back and give a shot to the most high-school of high-schooly CD's. I put it in my stereo and hit play, sending the carousel into its obligatory shuffle pattern. I settle into my futon for a furious round of crosswords (I've got a 7 newspaper backlog!) just as the hardware is settling on a song. There are 51 CDs in it; approximately 510 songs. It decides. Smells Like Teen Spirit. Uncanny.

So, having received my omen for the day, I nix the shuffle feature and listen straight through. Maybe not surprisingly, it was awesome. I very much enjoyed it. I can't say it made me feel like I was in high school again because I'm conspicuously not in paper-delivering shape. It was good though. Did feel a bit strange, not so much just an album; still had a historical document feel to it. Like I was rocking out to the North Atlantic Treaty and Warsaw Pact. Not as hegemonious though.

This might be the perfect time to rewelcome Nevermind back into my life. I stopped listening to it perhaps because I wanted to forget high school, of which the album was an unwitting reminder. That all seems too stale now to hold against myself. I finally forgave myself for being 17 just in time for the indictment for being 27 got handed down. Which is nice, in an uncanny sort of way. See, when I was 17 I never thought I'd ever even get to be 28, look back and wonder how I survived being 27. Now that I've done just that, I think maybe I would have been better off correctly predicting something useful, like investing in something.

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snowmans_chance From: snowmans_chance Date: March 22nd, 2006 08:18 am (UTC) (Link)
"This might be the perfect time to rewelcome Nevermind back into my life. I stopped listening to it perhaps because I wanted to forget high school, of which the album was an unwitting reminder."

i feel the same way about pearl jams 'ten' album.
groovebot From: groovebot Date: March 22nd, 2006 03:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
i haven't listened to Ten on anything approaching a regular basis for many many years either. i haven't banned it outright however, because Ten occupies a different place for me. there was no visceral break from it; it never made me sad the way Nevermind did. it just sort of receded into the back of my playlist as other options piled up.

actually, yesterday when i was replacing 20% of my rotation, I did come across Ten and thought about putting it in too. i may still yet.
snowmans_chance From: snowmans_chance Date: March 22nd, 2006 08:29 am (UTC) (Link)

by the by...

why are you not a published writer yet? is it fear of success, fear of failure, laziness, or just the basic idea of being oppositionally difiant against the system?

which is it, of the above. because there should be no other reason for it. its a travesty.
groovebot From: groovebot Date: March 22nd, 2006 03:42 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: by the by...

thanks for the good word, that's awfully nice.

tell you what, I'll "tag" this entry so I can look at it again some other time, perhaps when I'm feeling a little more like dealing with the ramifications.

but you bring up four very good reasons not to try. ;)
snowmans_chance From: snowmans_chance Date: March 22nd, 2006 07:47 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: by the by...

no, those are horse manure reason for not having a job writing. if i had your talent i would be constantly looking for writing gigs.

but thats just me. im the one who spells 'defiant' with an i after the d.
groovebot From: groovebot Date: March 22nd, 2006 08:00 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: by the by...

those aren't good reasons, true. just trying a little levity. eases the pain.

seriously, i appreciate the advice. i'm working some stuff out; i haven't given up completely.
birdmaddgirl From: birdmaddgirl Date: March 22nd, 2006 04:43 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: by the by...

i've been wondering the same thing myself for years.
snowmans_chance From: snowmans_chance Date: March 22nd, 2006 07:50 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: by the by...

im taking it upon myself to start pushing him. unless you have already done so and found it to be useless.


oh, and sorry for your loss of bro-yo.
groovebot From: groovebot Date: March 22nd, 2006 08:03 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: by the by...

alright, no need to go talk in front of... behind... (counting number of backs), between my back now.

oh, by the way, Matthew - Heather. Heather - Matthew. there.
birdmaddgirl From: birdmaddgirl Date: March 22nd, 2006 08:09 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: by the by...

i'll type between any back i want! punkface! ; )

can you even talk between one back?

now for some reason i have "bungalow bill" stuck in my head. if you can figure that out, let me know.
groovebot From: groovebot Date: March 22nd, 2006 08:12 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: by the by...

because one of the albums I deeemed acceptable for airtime a few days ago was the White Album.
birdmaddgirl From: birdmaddgirl Date: March 22nd, 2006 08:47 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: by the by...

whack. yo.
snowmans_chance From: snowmans_chance Date: March 23rd, 2006 07:56 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: by the by...

nice to meet you, finally, heather. im point 3 repeating in our league. but i figure you knew that already.

can i use sign language behind your back? er, in front of...between? sign language ok?
birdmaddgirl From: birdmaddgirl Date: March 24th, 2006 10:12 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: by the by...

hello hello. actually, i didn't know that. steve neglects to tell me so many things!

if you use sign language anywhere other than boston, i'm not gonna know. ; )
birdmaddgirl From: birdmaddgirl Date: March 22nd, 2006 08:03 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: by the by...

i appreciate your commiseration!

i haven't tried in a while, so it's probably worth another shot. getting an A in a creative writing class didn't motivate him either, i have no idea what might.
groovebot From: groovebot Date: March 22nd, 2006 08:11 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: by the by...

that grade was a bloody outrage! so the dean's office tells me they don't give out A+'s in night classes. so I says to him, I says, well what did they invent the 'plus' for then, answer me that?

no reply. un-ax-eptable.

now you know why all the BU Alumni Gift Correspondence goes right in the trash.
snowmans_chance From: snowmans_chance Date: March 23rd, 2006 07:54 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: by the by...

well i will give it the old college try, even though i went to 5 colleges in 8 years. i should be an old pro at giving the old college try.

and if that doesnt work, well, i guess we will have to devise a new plan. i just plan on giving up that easily.
snowmans_chance From: snowmans_chance Date: March 23rd, 2006 08:23 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: by the by...

NOT giving up that easily. my typing has been for the birds today. i blame bush and rove. i get nervous when people spy on me.
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