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Im in ur noun, verbing ur related noun.
I just remembered that people I've known in the past implored me to watch the old tv show, "The Prisoner" and that I, in turn, have been intrigued by its description.

Now, in the one place where my interests and capabilities happen to intersect, I figured is a good time to get on that. Pulling it up on netflix, I was dismayed to see that its modest 16 episode run was scattered over ten (10) discs. Each ep, subtracting 60's era commercial-time, runs 52 minutes. If I was home, sick with the flu, I wouldn't even bother getting up, opening the box, and loading it into the player just for one < 1-hour episode. Were these dvds hand-carved? What gives?

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when i'm off my game, it really gets gone. tonight i had the most surreal, slow-motion, detached pseudo-argument i perhaps ever have had (description not valid when considering any discussion with my boss). this may be hyperbole since my conversations with people these days tend to be more of the "excuse me, pardon me, getting off the train" variety. still, it sticks out in my mind.

discussing Lost at friends' house, i mentioned that i really like all the little twisty mysteries, but i'm really grabbed by one in particular. i go so far to say that if the show were to suddenly vanish with no hope of retrieval, the one oddity i would lament not knowing would be "insert mystery here for sake of people who want no spoilers". my friend says to me, "i disagree; there are so many other mysteries, what about (x, x, x, etc?)"

now this was clearly my undoing, but i reply, "that isn't really something to agree or disagree with; i'm just describing what i'd most need to know if the show hypothetically self-destructed." that sets off a whole meta-debate over what was just said, most of which i spend re-explaining the "real world" circumstance i was trying to illustrate which is misunderstood as a reiteration of the "tv show world" judgement i was supposedly making (ie that there's only one interesting story line). [note: this is materially unrelated to the point i was making and even aside from that i wouldn't even agree with it; the show is interesting on multiple levels.]

by this time, i'm completely in the weeds in terms of what the hell anyone even wants me to say here because i'm trying to defend myself on three fronts and the original friend with whom this whole thing started pulls the pin on the conversation-ending grenade - "am i allowed to have an opinion here?"

ka-boom. there's nothing that can be done with that because it was never in question that he could give his opinion. this is the conversational equivalent of "when did you stop beating your wife?" - there is no possible response from the defendant which would allow them to regain their ground. it's discourse poison. as such, a relatively meaningless detour from an otherwise engaging commiseration almost resulted in my pulling the ejector seat.

i talk too much.

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So I've just settled in for a long winter's award ceremony. It's been a while since I've watched the Oscars and it's a strange year for me to go back, considering that if it weren't for the technical awards, I've seen zero nominated films. I guess I'm an example of what the Academy had in mind in mind when they asked Jon Stewart to host because they wanted more 18-35 male viewers. Of course, I'm watching the show alone with instant noodles and a case of PBR. Betcha didn't see THAT one coming, Hollywood!

gotta say it, someone must have pissed Stewart off bad this week. because judging from the first 10 minutes, he made the decision to never have to turn them down for future hosting solicitations. i think i heard someone in the audience pulling a cabbage out of their purse. from the home viewer's side of the screen, he killed. but he might want to consider teleconferencing the rest of the show in.


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I guess it was bound to happen... A dream inspired by Lost. And I don't know what happened in that either.


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1. The days are getting longer at a satisfactory pace.

2. I am completely happy and well-adjusted.

3. My boss does not remind me of Milton from 'Office Space'.

4. Beds are simple things and not be terrified of.

5. I do not care when I get to start the second season of 'Lost'.

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so i just borrowed Lost from Brian tonight and will probably blast through it faster than a Vonnegut book. i'm through one episode and i'll probably be one of the converted any day now.
the first few moments after you've been attacked by a vampire or whatnot, you know you're done for and you have one final chance to warn others.

in that spirit, since i'm still in so shallow, i feel like i can still make fun of it.

jj abrams pulled of one mega draft day deal and it was brilliant! he picked up every Michael Crichton ensemble, Kualoa Valley and Ranch and two dinosaurs from Jurassic Park, plus one hobbit.

and all he had to give up was Jennifer Garner, in a contract year no less! it's the deal of the century. how can you NOT make that move?

the only way this can turn sour is if Garner goes on to have the type of career that everyone thought Herschel Walker would have instead of the one that he actually DID have. my money's on did-a, not would-a.

PS - I'm now engrossed in two programs that employ ex-hobbits. Samwise has been on 24 for the past several 'hours' and Dominic "was i named for some fragrance?" Monaghan is in Lost. i'm really pulling for Frodo to make a guest appearance on some dancing with the stars show that i might flip past one day.


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Slate's tag-team discussion of Olympic competition featured much curling-talk which, while exciting, is bittersweet for me since i do not have USA network to enjoy video. (Although, given that the Bemidji wonder-twins are 0-3, maybe it's better than i can't watch.) But what really caught my eye is this particular piece of vindication:

"I completely agree that the costumes have gotten out of hand. And also overly literal, at times. For instance: One skater was not content just to perform to the James Bond theme, but he also embroidered "007" on his back in sequins. (We get it, dude. You've got a license to camel spin.)"

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Now I know why I still haven't been able to get 'Lost'.

I'm pretty much in agreement with the guy at the end of the article though. While what Netflix is doing violates my own abstract sense of 'fairness', I'd rather have them stay in business than have them treat me like I was the center of their universe. Maybe that's from working in service for so many years, but I also realize that, right now, without Netflix, I'd pretty much be without a viable outlet for movie watching since I won't use Walmart or Blockbusters competition. I get around 14 discs a month, which is pretty high given the two-day minimum turnaround. If they didn't do this, I'd expect less-obsessed customers to be pretty pissed at my practices.

I did always wonder how they got around the issue of heavy renters though. I guess this should have been pretty obvious.


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i'm going to miss the olympic opening ceremonies tonight because i'll be at an actual venue with real music. this is the sort of thing that always keeps me from watching the gala; i think the last one i saw was probably Atlanta. as riduculous as it seems to be dispirited over missing something so fantastically tacky, i recall being enthralled by when i was a kid. if i try to imagine one now, i think it's rather like what a high-school graduation would look like if it was produced by Gilbert & Sullivan).

still, i have higher hopes for the games themselves. especially now since i have no cable and few available or reachable friends. if i had a nielsen box, i could single-handedly bring NBC's ratings out of the toilet over the next fortnight! many people (mostly beat sportswriters) seem to deride the fan interest that the Games draw because the sports and athletes fade back into obscurity as soon as the closing ceremonies are complete. this tastes a bit like sour grapes to me, as it comes from people who are used to covering basketball and now have to pretend to learn the significance of different types of sleds. maybe this makes me a tourist but i see the novelty as being something worth paying attention to.

speaking of being a tourist with a novel sport, another positive sign with this year's olympics is the relative attention that US Women's curling has been getting. maybe this means that there'll be some curling in the primetime NBC slots! I'm counting on America hearting Cassie Johnson (who's pretty heartable) so I can see some televised curling. I don't know what it is about the sport. I've bowled competitively but don't like watching it. I've never curled before but for some reason watching it is the broadcast equivalent of herbal tea. It's competitive meditation. If I developed debilitating migraines, I would search for "Do You Bemidji Magic? The 2005 U.S. Curling Championships" on DVD.

what would be good Olympic cuisine? not specifically Italian, but something Olympic. Spaghetti-O's made with egg, spinach, squid-ink, bell pepper and blue corn noodles? might be a little hard to come by. maybe i'll just make bratwurst stir-fry tacos.

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This week's food drive is a qualified mess. I'm okay with that because there wasn't anything grand about it. I decided to make fried rice out of a bunch of whatever and that's pretty much what I got. The surprising thing is, the whatever behaved and it was the rice that I messed up. That's right, I messed up the rice and I have a rice cooker. Because I didn't let the rice sit out long enough and completely cool, the frying didn't really happen so I ended up with a big wad of singed starch with some ingredients poking out of it. Tasty, but not much to look at. On a positive note, the next time a fifth-grader tries to start something with me, I'm going to call him a starch-wad.

I also got a package in the mail from home. Some boring stuff in there, plus a few boxes of Tomoe Ame rice candy (the original starch-wad!), and a home-taped copy of the great and feloniously underrated movie, The Monster Squad. If you haven't seen this movie, you are missing out and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future unless you come to my house.

For some reason, every pointless movie and tv show in the world has seen a DVD release but terrific, recent and recognizable stuff like the Monster Squad, Mythbusters, The Trials of Life, and MTV's The State haven't cleared the necessary approval. What is going on??

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